Douglas Fir's popularity is skyrocketing!

BREAKING NEWS:
The elusive Candidate Douglas Fir reveals his true face ONCE AND FIR ALL. Even though this is not REALLY Candidate Douglas Fir (he is portrayed by Dean Winters, who was also in such TV programs as The Twilight Zone and 30 Rock), rumor has it that Candidate Douglas Fir supervised the choice of the actor to represent him. Because the aptly named Mr. Winters was chosen by Douglas Fir himself to play the role, there must be some resemblance between the two. Note the happy, singing children who are so delighted that they have "the world's greatest Douglas Fir" coming to their home! NOTE: NO FIRS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS VIDEO.
~ Candidate Douglas Fir's publicist Tasia
Candidate Fir approves this message... and so should you.