Updated T-Shirts

Hello again! I have redesigned the campaign t-shirts to fit the ever-changing style of today's youngsters!
Behold, the link to the UPDATED T-Shirt!
ENJOY!

Candidate Fir in popular culture cont'd

Hello again, faithful Fir friends.
In my previous post, I mentioned that Talbots has a new deep green color: Douglas Fir. Curious?
A prettyful jacket in YOUR new favorite color!
Prettyful gloves in YOUR new favorite color!
Can't get enough? Visit the Talbots website fir moar.
Candidate Douglas Fir approves this message.

Candidate Fir in popular culture

Greetings, faithful Fir friends!
Candidate Douglas Fir speaking. I would just like to briefly give an update on how things are etc, and also provide you all with a fun little bit of trivia.
My mother gets Talbots catalogs in the mail-- one of the newfangled names for green they offer is: *drumroll* Douglas Fir.
I have a color named after me??!!
Candidate Douglas Fir approves this message.

Pine vs. Firs

Isn't that scary?

It's true, though. Candidate Fir has seen it happen.

Speaking of Candidate Fir...

So much moar pleasant, yes?

And THAT is why YOU should VOTE FIR FIRS!!

Candidate Douglas Fir approves this message.

How DOES One Recognize A Pine Supporter?

There are many ways to tell if the person you are speaking to is a supporter of Pine. For example:
They send emails from the future.
They make cruel comments about Candidate Fir.
They take pleasure in the pain of others.
They kill puppies for fun and profit.
They call Candidate Fir "fictional."
These are just a few of the ways you can tell if someone is a supporter of Pine. Use them. Live them. Love them.

Everyone who supports Pine is a homicidal maniac who deserves to be institutionalized.

Candidate Douglas Fir approves this message.

A Brief Welcome

Hello, Candidate Fir here. I would just like to provide a warm welcome to the newest member of our journey, Caronil! If you see her around, please be sure to introduce yourself. Remember, it's the Fir way to be friendly! So, Caronil, welcome to the land of the Firs.
Yes, you do have to wear a fir tree costume to work on your birthday.
Anyway...
We here at Needs Moar Firs Inc. will do everything we can to make sure your life here is enjoyable. Fret not!
Just another reason WHY YOU should vote NO on Proposition Pine: Candidate Fir's great staff.
Candidate Douglas Fir approves this message.

A Quick Q&A With the Needs Moar Firs Band's Adrian and Lexie

What inspired you to begin writing songs about Candidate Fir and his cause?
Adrian: Well, it's not like we were gonna start singing about Candidate Pine, right?
Lexie: *sings* Oh, we're so evil, we hurt people, if you don't vote for us we'll track... you... down... with clowns.
When did you form this band?
Adrian: I would say it formed itself.
Lexie: Actually, I'm pretty sure the moon made us. But that happened a year or so ago.
Do you enjoy writing music with the band?
Adrian: Is the Pope Catholic?
Lexie: No. Not unless there are floot solos.
One last thing: is there anything you would like to say, personally , to Candidate Fir?
Adrian: Candidate Fir? Um... Keep fighting. We believe in you.
Lexie: Can we write you a song? Oh. And... um... what she said. Maw.
Candidate Douglas Fir approves this message. 

What is the Needs Moar Firs Band?

What is the Needs Moar Firs Band?
Good question. Other than the writers of Candidate Fir's theme song, the Needs Moar Firs Band is a group of four talented kids from Dallas: Adrian, Lexie, James, and Ryan. Adrian sings and plays the guitar, cello, and piano; Lexie sings, too, and plays the flute: James provides a bass line and Ryan does percussion. Together, they form an excellent group of devoted Fir friends and they make marvelous music together. Their influences include Johnny Stimson, OneRepublic, The Beatles, and Mika. Their first single, "Vote Fir Firs," can be heard via Candidate Fir, his secretary Katherine, or his publicist Tasia. A follow-up single is rumored to be coming out soon-- you can visit their website here.
The Needs Moar Firs Band is indeed Candidate Douglas Fir's official favorite band!
This message has been approved by Candidate Douglas Fir.

Official Campaign Ad

Behold, my multi-million dollar masterpiece!

This message has been approved by Candidate Douglas Fir himself.

Chords to "Vote Fir Firs" by the Needs Moar Firs Band

Basic chords for "Vote Fir Firs" by the Needs Moar Firs Band
For melody, please see Candidate Fir, his secretary Katherine, or his publicist Tasia.
A
So the skies are blue skies are blue but
D
You are too you are too
A 
Can I make it better for 
E
you?
A
But if the skies are gray skies are gray on a
D 
Rainy day rainy day
A 
Can I make the sadness go 
E
Away?
(Chorus)
A
Vote fir firs but the
E
Choice is yirs
F#minor
If ya wanna make this world a little better
A
Vote fir firs but yir
E
Life is yirs
F#minor
So live it right live it right and
D      E
Vooo-te
A
Fir firs.
(Bridge)
A
The trees will
D
Always be
E
There
A
The trees
D
Will always
E 
Care
(Etc, etc, Repeat as needed.)

Candidate Douglas Fir's official theme song by the Needs Moar Firs Band

Lyrics to "Vote Fir Firs" by the Needs Moar Firs Band: 
(Verse 1) 
So the skies are blue 
Skies are blue but 
You are too 
You are too 
Can I make it better for you? 
And if the skies are gray 
Skies are gray on a 
Rainy day 
Rainy day 
Can I make the pain go away? 
(Chorus) 
So vote fir Firs 
But the choice is yirs 
If ya wanna make the world a little better 
Vote fir Firs 
Yir life is yirs 
So live it right 
Live right 
And vote fir Firs! 
(Verse 2) 
But if the moon was bright 
Moon was bright on a 
Starry night 
Starry night 
Would it make your world 
Make your world 
A little lighter? 
And the world is round 
World is round 
Getcha feet on the ground 
On the ground 
Look around and tell me what you see? 
Do you see trees? 
(Chorus) 
(Bridge) 
The trees will always be there 
The trees will always care 
The trees 
Don’t you know they love you so? 
The trees 
On Proposition Pine vote NO! 
(Chorus) 

Needs Moar Firs? Wait No Longer!!

Many of you have been asking for personalized "Vote Fir Firs" merchandise. Wait no longer!! Behold: the "Needs Moar Firs" tee!
Behold.
Here is the link.
You can get it in 9 colors: Black, Red, Cardinal, Navy, Military Green, Brown, Royal, Charcoal, or Kelly Green.
Or, you can design your own; we here at Needs Moar Firs Inc. are very openminded.
Candidate Douglas Fir has officially approved this design.
Enjoy.

A Concerning Topic

It has recently been brought to my attention that many children are being hurt, bullied, taunted, and/or teased all across the country. If you are one of those children, don't despair!! Because Fir Fir Yir Futire is on its way to YIR home to make you happy again!

Who is Candidate Douglas Fir?

Candidate Douglas Fir in popular culture:

The Douglas Firs

The Douglas Fir Band

Candidate Fir currently lives in his home with his wife Marie and their son Fraser.

Photographs:

Candidate Douglas Fir

Marie Fir

Fraser Fir

Candidate Douglas Fir supports liberty, perfect, clear air for you to breathe, saving the world's natural resources, and YOU. He has been striving to educate the public on why they should vote NO on Proposition Pine since 2008 while he battles Candidate Coniferous Pine's cruel policies towards lions and normal, everyday people like you and me.

Candidate Douglas Fir approves this message.

A Problem Occurs

So it seems your trusted Fir friend cannot do everything. I can't post comments. It just doesn't work. Caroline seems to know. Help?
UPDATED: It seems now that I can indeed post comments; I simply have to click on the link that says "x comments" (x being number of comments, i.e. 1, 2, etc) and then write a comment in the blank space provided.
UPDATED: Hmmm... strangely enough, I can't post comments. Fir real. How very strange!...
UPDATED: Never mind. I can post comments now. Fret no longer, Fir friends! All is well!

Candidate Pine... "Moron" Magazine's Moron Of The Year?!

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you all the more reason to vote NO on Proposition Pine and VOTE FIRS FIR YIR FUTIRE! Yes, Candidate Pine was indeed voted "Moron" Magazine's Moron Of The Year!! How can we trust this man with something so important as running our country? So don't join his ranks and VOTE FIR FIRS!!

Candidate Douglas Fir-- "True American" Magazine's Patriot Of The Year!

Yes, indeed, ladies and gentlemen, Candidate Douglas Fir was "True American" Magazine's Patriot Of The Year of 2010!

...and that is all the more reason why you should VOTE FIRS FIR YIR FUTIRE and vote NO on Proposition Pine!

Thank You Fir Staying With Me

To all of you out there who have been with me from the start, thank you so much. You have no idea of how much the opinions of the public mean to me, and seeing all of the "Needs Moar Firs" items you can get and all of the posters etc just makes me want to plant a forest. So again, thank you so much for voting NO on Proposition Pine and voting Firs fir yir futire!

~Candidate Douglas Fir

Final Post Before Bed

Actually, Douglas Fir never sleeps.                      

Douglas' State of the Island

What a long, beautiful journey it's been. I first must say that I can't thank you all enough for your unflagging support...I couldn't have made it this far without you. As for my campaign, I feel a change is coming soon. I know we got a late start in this election -more than a month after Senator Pine- but I think Pine only has the edge temporarily. He's descending into a state of violent political obsession...it consumes him. Cripes, he missed his daughter's wedding for a meeting! He attends several meetings weekly, and he couldn't bother to miss just *one* for one of the most important days of his child's life? I promise you this, fellow Fir friends- I will never be that way. My job will never overtake my dedication to my family. That is where I feel I will surpass Pine. I'm a family man, and who can argue with that?


~Douglas Fir

Vote Firs Fir Yir Futire!

Hello, and welcome to Candidate Douglas Fir's official blog! This is where Candidate Fir will post updates on his candidacy, reasons why you should vote "firs fir yir futire," and many greatly beneficial things.
Don't "firget!" Vote NO on Proposition Pine and get fresh air for the REST OF YOUR LIFE!
Thank you "fir" voting "fir Fir!"
Candidate Douglas Fir